No Women Allowed
by cendella
Summary: Jack and Allison deal with Kevin and puberty.
1. Caught in the Act

**I do not own EUReKA.**

No Women Allowed

Chapter 1: Caught in the Act

Jack and Allison rode in relative silence during the short trip back home. The only sound that could be heard was the hum of the engine as it trekked along and onto the road of their asphalt covered lot.

Jack had swung by GD after a long day of work to pick up his wife; her own vehicle had been in the shop for maintenance. The culmination of a long week, they'd decided to treat the kids and picked up some pizza along the way; pepperoni for Kevin, Jenna and Allison. Meaty Meaty Meat for Jack.

At last easing into the slot allotted for his jeep, Jack hopped out, grabbed the food from the back seat and led Allison downstairs to the bunker only to bump into the metal doorway, erupting with a resounding ouch.

"S.A.R.A.H, open up." Jack yelled, followed by a swift kick to the frame.

They both stood there bewildered when no response came which immediately caused them alarm. There would be no reason why the door shouldn't automatically open to them, let alone have S.A.R.A.H not give them cause as to why they weren't allowed to enter. Thankfully, to the left of the door was a manual override panel for just such an occasion.

Kevin and Jenna would be inside and she wanted to make sure her babies were okay. Allison set to task, her nimble fingers working quickly. And not sixty seconds later, the door swung open, Allison's heart in her chest as she called out to her children.

They had to be alright; they just had to be.

What she was greeted with left her shaken to her core and frankly ticked off. For stretched out on the couch was her sixteen year old son, but he wasn't alone. Beneath him lay a girl, seemingly his age, her top unbuttoned and her tiny pink bra exposed for the world to see.

Kevin obviously hadn't heard them come in; his mouth engaged in a game of tongue hockey, as Jack and Allison stood dumbfounded at the sight before them.

Seemingly in a fog, Allison shook herself from her dazed state and at the top of her lungs bellowed her first borns name.

"Kevin Anderson Blake!"

Oh God Kevin thought. When she said your entire name, you knew there would be trouble.

Kevin, shocked to hear his mother's voice immediately jumped off of his companion as she hurriedly, but unsuccessfully tried to button her blouse, managing to skip several of them along the way.

"Mom! Jack! What are you doing home so soon?"

Jack opened his mouth to speak, but Allison cut him off, her rage all consuming.

"What we are doing home is not the question. The question is what in the hell do you think you are doing young man?"

"I, uh. Well, you see, Amy and I…" he began as he pointed at the now cowering girl.

Allison held up her hand. She was in no mood for his excuses.

Regaining her composure, she addressed Amy directly. "Amy, I think you'd better head home this instance."

The frightened girl appeared confused and stuttered in the prescience of not only Kevin's parents, but the town Sheriff and the head of GD's Medical Department. "But Kevin brought me here Dr. Blake."

Jack placed the pizza down on the half wall and peered over at his bride. He could see the color rising to her cheeks and before the scene took an even uglier turn, he offered to take the girl home. He was sure being dropped off by the Sheriff let alone the explanation she was going to have to give her parents was enough of an embarrassment which would have her rethink any future endeavors with Kevin.

As soon as Jack and Amy exited, Allison started in on Kevin. She wanted to know first off where Jenna was. Kevin was supposed to be babysitting.

Kevin assured her Jenna was fine and that he'd given her a snack and put her down for a nap, but Allison would hear none of it.

Allison again began throwing a litany of questions in his direction, none of which he could answer because they came so fervently.

What if Jenna had come down to the scene as they had? Why had he disabled S.A.R.A.H to begin with? Didn't he realize S.A.R.A.H was there not only to aide them, but for their safety? And just how far did he think he was going to get with Amy?

Kevin listened to her speech unenthusiastically as Allison saw the disinterest on his face.

God, she hated this age, even when she was a teenager. Kevin was a good kid overall, but since he'd hit puberty, he'd become a major pain in her ass. The problem with having a genius for a son was that he always believed he could outsmart you.

Allison had gotten to the stage where she began talking to Kevin about being responsible for his actions and thats when he balked.

"Mom, I know you think I'm still this little boy, but I know what I'm doing. I know all about sex, and the biological and physical functions that go along with it. Amy and I were only fooling around. Isn't that what teenagers are supposed to do?"

Allison couldn't believe he was trying to rationalize with her. Her too smart for his own good son was trying to talk her into being okay with him engaging in sex.

Allison knew she had to calm down. If she continued on this path, it would only prove to alienate Kevin and thats not what she wanted. She prided herself on having an open dialog with him and was willing to discuss any topic.

Her palms open, she pleaded with him. "Kevin, I know you _think_ you know what sexual intercourse is," Kevin rolled his eyes at her choice of terminology "but trust me when I say, you are not ready to take on such a huge responsibility. Sex is not just science or being physically mature, it's about your mental and emotional capacity to handle such an intense circumstances."

"Mom, no offense, but I am I think I am intelligent enough to know what I can and can't handle. I think that I can maneuver the mental and emotional baggage that comes along with dealing with having a real adult relationship."

Allison could feel her blood began to boil again. If it had not been for Jack coming through the door, she might just have hauled off and whacked Kevin upside the head.

Unbeknownst to Jack, he had arrived at just the right moment.

It took a few minutes, but he was now up to speed and seeing the volatile situation, he interjected between the hot under the collar Allison and the know-it-all Kevin.

"Kevin, your mom's right. You are way too young to be thinking about having sex."

Kevin stood to his full height which at the present moment was only two inches shorter than Jack. "You know, you guys want me to act like and adult but you treat me like a child. You've used my knowledge when there was a scientific problem to fix, but you keep me out of the loop on so many issues when you know I could be of help." A crackle in his voice emphasized the last word, which almost went to prove their point.

"Kevin, while I appreciate the fact that you've assisted with a few incidents, this in no way means that you are on the same level with me or my colleagues. If you haven't noticed, we work as a cohesive unit in Eureka and if that sometimes means gaining support from our younger citizens, then that is what is necessary. It does not mean we place you on the same tier."

Kevin looked as if Allison had slapped him across the face; her words harsh.

"Kevin I'm sorry, I don't mean to sound condescending, but it's true. You may be bright academically, but emotionally, you're not there yet."

The snideness easing back into his voice, Kevin replied to Allison's comment, "Well, if you ask me, from what I've seen of the adults in this town, not too many of them are emotionally mature either."

"You know what, that's it. I can't talk to you right now. Up to your room." she bellowed.

And up he went.

Allison turned to Jack, a look of exasperation on her face.

Though the moment did not call for it, Jack could only smirk, "We knew it would happen sooner or later."

"I was hoping for later."

"Well, just think. We only have two more to go." And with that Jack rubbed Allison's ever growing belly and if almost to prove it's father right, the baby kicked Jack where he'd placed his hand.

Allison smiled sweetly to Jack; the love of her life. "Oh God, I don't think I'll make it."

She closed the gap between them and wrapped her arms around his waist, her fingers interlacing behind her back. Though at the moment it seemed as if she'd lost the battle to bring Kevin to his senses, she realized that Jack had been through this and so much more before with Zöe and he'd managed to come out the other side relatively intact. Yes, she couldn't have chosen a better partner to help her navigate the difficult and tumultuous years ahead.

That night, after an evening of pizza and a movie with a sullen Kevin, Jack decided that this would be the opportune moment to present to Allison an idea that he'd been toying with.

Though Jack was not Kevin's biological father, he felt as if he were his own son, that went for Jenna too who now called him Daddy. And they too respected Jack and listened to him, whether it was advice given or if they were put on punishment for breaking the rules. So he had a conversation with Allie that night as they lay in bed about what to do with Kevin.

Jack recalled an outing he'd taken with Kevin, Grant and Fargo that had gone terribly awry and they had been attacked by the Titan rover unit, but this time he believed he had the answer to their problems. So he detailed his plan which took some bit of convincing on his part, but in the end, Allison had given him the okay.

Next weekend, Jack would take Kevin up to the cabin and show him what it truly meant to be a man.


	2. Into the Wild

**I do not own EUReKA. **

No Women Allowed

Chapter 2: Into the Wild

Jack woke early that morning; four am to be exact. The jeep had already been packed the night before and he had just finished pulling on his hiking boots when Allison stirred. Not wanting to wake her, he tiptoed across the room and planted a gentle kiss on her forehead. Jack had told her that he and Kevin would be leaving just before dawn to get a jump start on the weekend. The only person he failed to inform of the early start was Kevin.

Jack headed down the hall to Kevin's room and instead of knocking on the door as he usually did, he burst in and at the top of his lungs yelled rise and shine to the very much zonked out teen. The resulting crash was as satisfying as Jack had expected as Kevin tumbled to the floor, still tangled in his bed sheets.

The look on the teens face was a mixture of confusion and contempt.

Kevin peered up at the clock on his nightstand, "Jack, it's four twenty in the morning."

"Uh, yeah I know." And before Kevin could batter him with a line a questioning, Jack ordered him up and told him to get ready to go.

"Go? Go where?"

"You and I, my friend, are going on a little adventure. Remember?"

"What?" Kevin managed to ask through the haze of sleep.

"We are heading up to the cabin for the weekend. Isn't that exciting?" he said sarcastically.

"You're kidding right?" When Jack didn't answer, the realization of the statement at last settled in. "Well, I think I'll pass."

Kevin climbed off the floor and plopped back onto the bed, turned his back to Jack, and pulled the covers over his head.

But Jack would not be ignored; not on this day. With one quick movement, he grabbed hold of the blanket and sheets, then whipped them from over top of him.

"Kevin, this is not a request. I expect you to be downstairs and ready to go in fifteen minutes."

And with that, Jack left out of the room, the sound of a groaning teen left in his wake.

Fifteen minutes later, as ordered, Kevin appeared from upstairs, backpack in hand. He looked positively perturbed by the fact he was going to be spending the entire weekend in the woods. No t.v., no video games, and to his horror, Jack had confiscated his cell phone. Storming past Jack with a pasted on smile, he appeared annoyed; he was not getting out of this weekend so he might as well get it over with.

Driving down the bypass road, Jack tried his best to draw Kevin into conversation but was met with staunch silence. Sunglasses covering his eyes, arms crossed in defiance, Jack decided he would give up momentarily. What would be the point of pushing the issue anyway? By the time they reached the cabin, he'd have so many more reasons to hate him.

Unbeknownst to Kevin, this weekend was not just about having the long overdue man to man talk. Unlike their last camping experience, Jack intended on teaching him how to pitch a tent, forage from the land, fish, and basically survive when placed in extreme situations. If Kevin thought they were spending the entire time inside the newly renovated, supply stocked cabin by the fireplace, he was throughly mistaken.

At last reaching their destination, Jack pulled the jeep in front of the cabin door and at once began giving Kevin directions.

Unload this. Carry this. Place this there. Put that here.

Kevin, to his credit did each task without complaint; that didn't mean he liked it though. The entire time, he'd done what Jack requested, he'd done so without uttering a word. And not until all his assignments were done did he finally speak up.

"So, what are we going do all weekend?"

"Well, it just so happens that I have a long list of chores here for us to complete."

"Chores? I thought you were going bring me up here to talk about the birds and bees."

"Yes, that's on our agenda, but I also thought this would be a good time to take care of a few other things."

"Like what?" Kevin asked, exasperated.

"First, we're going to spend tonight out in the woods."

"What! Why? We have a perfectly good cabin here."

Jack ignored him. "Then we're going to prep the cabin for the winter. And finally, we'll have that long overdue talk I know you're just dying to have."

Crestfallen, Kevin just lowered his head; a sure sign of defeat. Jack of course had the urge to give him a hug and tell him everything was going to be all right, but he pushed the feeling down. As much as he loved and cared for Kevin, this is what he needed right now. He didn't want to have to go through what he went through with Zöe. If only he had been more attentive to her, their relationship could have gone very differently as she was growing up. Then again, if things had gone differently, they may not have come to Eureka.

Out of his peripheral Jack watched his stepson as he went through the motions, a small smile on his own face. As much as he loved and adored his girls, he'd always wanted to have a boy to do things with. But he had to remember that he had a specific mission ahead. This weekend was not all about fun and games. And that night, they left off to the business of getting Kevin back on the strait and narrow path.

But before they left out, Jack had Kevin pack some required items. Maps and a compass in case they got lost along the way. Towel, washcloth and toiletries for their morning bath in a nearby creek. Flashlights just in case the moon decided to hide that night. A camping stove to include matches for cooking their freshly caught dinner. Tin dishes, cups and utensils which had been handed down to Jack from his own father. A gallon of clean water and some rations in case the fishing was a bust. And two items of which Jack refused to leave the cabin without; a first aid kit and toilet paper; two-ply.

Two miles into the woods, they stopped on an acre of land which was still within the boundaries of Eureka, but allowed them all the requirements of a prime camping ground. The first step in Jack's plan was to have Kevin perform some manual labor. Sure Kevin liked to skateboard and ride his bike, but the most exercise he ever engaged in was of the mental variety.

Jack's lesson number one was protection from the elements. So he had Kevin lay down a tarp to create a barrier from any pebbles, sticks and mud. Then with mallet and stakes in hand, he had Kevin pitch his very first tent. Next came the sleeping bags. Two all weather versions which could transition from the heat of the summer, to the cold of the winter; courtesy of GD.

Finally, Jack had him set up the rest of the campground with the necessary essentials. These included setting up a ring of rocks to contain the fire, gathering firewood, kindle, leaves and pine straw to help balance the surface area. Then the last step, creating a fire control plan. Above all, Jack wanted to make sure they did things safely.

Because Jack wanted to make this event fun as well as a learning experience, he brought, without Kevin's knowledge paintball supplies. Jack wasn't a hunter, per se, but he did enjoy games of elimination. He figured it all related back to his Marshall training. And when he presented Kevin with the brilliant idea, he spoke a complete sentence for the first time in hours.

"Jack, why are we even doing this? C'mon, I'll admit I was wrong for what I did, okay. Can we just go back to the cabin and spend the rest of the weekend there? Or better yet, you can tell mom we did everything you promised we'd do, hang for the night and go home in the morning."

Kevin flashed a hopeful grin, but Jack would have none of it.

"See Kevin, just your suggesting that we lie to your mother is part of the problem. What you did was not only wrong, it was disrespectful to your sister, to us and to our home. It was foolish of you to think that you were ready for a sexual relationship. And to top it off, the way you spoke to your mother was unacceptable. Even the way you're behaving now proves to us just how immature you still are."

Kevin began to refute his statement, but wisely thought better of it. He figured he'd just have to suffer through this Saturday and Sunday. He'd pretend to listen, say the obligatory yeses, I understand's, and I'm sorries. Anything to get his parents off his back. Hell, he knew exactly what he was doing and in the end, he'd prove to them that the teenager who stood in front of them was ready to be treated like a man.


	3. Man to Man

**I do not own Eureka.**

No Women Allowed

Chapter 3: Man to Man

The day spent in the woods was an eventful one, to say the least. After Kevin had completed the tasks Jack set out for him, they started straightaway to the business of procuring some dinner.

The first thing Jack did was grab their poles from the tent and he and Kevin set out for the creek to do some fishing. Needless to say, Kevin was less enthused about this choir then anything else they'd done so far.

Seated on the edge of the bank, Jack tossed his line then placed the can of worms down net to him.

"You don't expect me to touch those, do you?"

Jack's only response was to pick up the can and toss it at Kevin.

"Man up, they're just worms."

"Ugh."

Kevin reluctantly, but dutifully baited his hook and tossed his own line in the water.

They sat there for what seemed like hours to Kevin, waiting and waiting and waiting.

"Jack, we haven't had a bite since we've gotten here. Are you sure there are even any fish in the water?"

Jack didn't even bother to lift the Boonie hat from off his eyes as he leaned back comfortably against a large boulder.

"Patience, young grasshopper."

This was all a part of Jack's plan. He'd mentally written a list of all the lessons he wanted Kevin to learn which on this excursion and the first of those was patience.

To be a functioning adult, Jack felt one needed to know how to maintain your cool. Sure, he flew off the handle from time to time, but overall, he'd always managed to keep a cooler head when those around him were not.

And not a minute later, Kevin got his first tug on the line.

"Jack! Jack! I've got something."

"Well, reel it in buddy."

Jack watched the excitement on his face and for a brief moment he saw the little boy he'd met all those years ago come to life. And with their fresh catch now in hand, they headed back to the campsite.

The remainder of the evening they played a quick game of paintball, had dinner and then Jack stuck to teaching Kevin how to survive in the wilderness. With all the mishaps that occurred in Eureka, it was only a matter of time before they were accidentally thrown back into the stone age. Well, that's what Jack felt most of the time anyway.

By the time night fell, Kevin was all but tuckered out. As soon as his head hit the sleeping bag, he was fast asleep.

But he didn't stay that way for long.

Sometime in the middle of the night, Kevin jostled Jack awake. It seemed that Kevin; who'd previously professed to being a mature adult, had been frightened by the sounds of the wild. Of course he pretended to not be bothered by it all, but Jack could see the fear in his eyes. Good parent that he was, Jack didn't tease him or ever bring the issue to light but steered the conversation to lighter fare, like the last family trip they took to Yosemite which seemed to quell him until he fell back asleep. By the time morning came, Jack was more than happy to head back to the cabin.

As soon as they arrived back at their rustic home away from home, Kevin once again tried to persuade Jack to call of the remainder of their "boys" weekend off.

Jack couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed that Kevin still hadn't gotten with the program, even though he appeared to have had a great time yesterday. But Jack was determined to get his point across come hell or high water. He would just have to be more aggressive with his tactics.

So, Jack abandoned his set schedule for the day and sat Kevin down at the table so they could finally have a man to man talk.

"Kevin, come here."

"What's up, Jack?"

"I think its time for us to have the talk."

"C'mon on Jack. I thought we were past that."

"No, we're not. I don't think you truly understand the severity of what you've done."

"You're making it sound as if I killed someone."

"Not at all, but that doesn't mean this isn't serious."

"Jack, I heard what mom said and I got it. I should have been more careful with Jenna in the house."

"See, that's just it; you don't get it at all. Yes, part of this has to do with your duty as an older brother, but this is also about you not respecting our family, our home, Amy or yourself."

"What do you mean?"

"Kevin, I know that you're smarter than me, but thats book smart. I have street smarts and life experience on my side as well.

Kevin sighed loudly and rolled his eyes and Jack did not take kindly to his rude tone.

"Did you ever think about what would have happened if it was Jenna who caught you two and not your mother and me? Did you think about how far you planned on going? If you did go further, did either of you have protection? What about what her parents think about her now? What if your peers found out? Or…"

"Okay! Okay! I get it."

"No, you don't."

"Kevin, it's very easy to get caught up in the moment, but you have to think about the consequences of every situation. You know what it's like living in Eureka, and in the blink of an eye any of our lives can change. Kevin, you're not ready to factor the enormity of a physical relationship yet."

Jack watched as Kevin sat quietly and pondered his words.

"Kev, are you ready to be a father?"

"What? God no!"

"Well, that's the chance you're taking. You're not only jeopardizing your future, but Amy's as well. If you don't think your mother and I wouldn't make you own up to your responsibilities, then you're dead wrong."

"So what am I supposed to do Jack. I have these… urges."

"Believe me, I know. I've been there too."

Kevin cringed at the thought.

"Kevin, this is all a part of being a man. You talk about being mature, well maturity is more than a physical change in your body. It's mental and emotional and so many other things."

Kevin eyes darted down.

"Listen, your mother and I know you're a good person. We know you respect us and you adore Jenna. We love you and we just want the best for you. You'll have plenty of time for the ladies, but for right now you just need to enjoy being a kid. Understand?"

Kevin slowly nodded. "Yeah, I finally do. And Jack, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to upset mom that way and I would never do anything to hurt Jenna."

"I know buddy."

"Do you think mom will ever forgive me?"

"Of course she will. But to be on the safe side. When we get home tomorrow, breakfast in bed couldn't hurt."


End file.
